So far

I'm journalling every day but having a hard time getting it online. Too much time hiking! My handwriting is so terrible that it takes forever to transpose my notes. But I'm meeting so many awesome people and want to keep in touch so I just wanted to drop in some contact info.

My email is phillip.r.ouellette@gmail.com
I'm on Facebook at facebook.com/phillip.ouellette.5
and you can follow my progress at share.delorme.com/PhillipOuellette

So look me up! As of now I'm in Manchester center staying with my good friend Al and his amazing family at their beautiful house in the mountains. It's a beautiful day, I'll be in Mass soon, and I'm feeling exceedingly lucky and happy to be on the Trail. Peace and love,

Ups

June 27. "The Bigelows"

Interesting day. I hiked well, and sure, over pretty tough terrain, the Bigelows. It's my first 4000 footer so far! And it reminded me very much of hiking in the Southern Presidentials. It rained pretty much all night, but I slept well, alone at the the Bigelow shelter. Up early, ate a cold breakfast of Pop-tarts and granola. Even skipped the coffee. Was just nervous, I guess, and having a hard time eating, just wanted to get going, but I knew it's important to eat. But, I stuck a couple of Snickers in my hip-belt pocket. New Rule: always have Snickers on hand when hiking elevation. The more the better. The ones that have 2 little Snickers in the same package are awesome. When I would wake up, last night, alone, in the dark and rain, of course I though of all the things that could go wrong as I crossed the mountains. Lightning (probably the most legitimate worry), as I would be on exposed ridges and summits. Someone told me - I think it was the Northern Outdoors shuttle driver, "If you see lightning in the Bigelows, duck." Thanks, that's helpful. People have a lot of non-advice advice out here. Oh, back to the list. Slip and fall, broken bones, hypothermia, eh, why not throw in "massive heart attack" while I'm at it. Of course, none of these things came to pass. I wouldn't have been nervous about it, really, at all... I mean, I've climbed lots of big mountains, but inclement weather in high elevations still freaks me out a little [I'm not the only one, turns out, lots of hikers share my anxiety]. I wouldn't normally go up a mountain on a foggy, drizzly day, but I'm thruhiking, so I can't really sit around and wait for perfect weather (see rule: sometime you gotta start in the rain). I couldn't sit in the shelter all day waiting for it to clear up, I mean, it could get worse! I can't go back; seriously "Why did you get off the trail?" "Well, it was a little foggy..." So, I just had to pull on the ole boots and go. I made sure everything was water-proofed, brought some extra water, had snacks on the ready, and just started cranking. I knew once I went, I'd feel much better about things. And I did, it wasn't bad, just foggy and gloomy, a bit drizzly. The rocks were surprisingly "sticky" for being wet, and my footing was good. I took it slow and steady, took regular breaks, and before I knew it was up and over Little Bigelow. I was walking by large, open areas of white fog, that I just knew would be an amazing view on a clear day. Before long I was in the col between Little Bigelow and Avery Peak, where there's a campground. I started up Avery Peak, which is kind of a straight shot up, which I like in a way, no false summits! The scenery here was spectacular, just in the forest. Great slabs of rock jutted out over the trail, forming rooved caves (which would make a good shelter, I thought - of course - in the case of an emergency). Everything was covered with lush green moss, streams trickled down the mountains, the fog sat in the notch and gave everything a ghostly quality. I had noticed a little blue sky as I'd gotten up a bit higher on Little Bigelow, so I thought there'd be a chance of getting up over the clouds, and getting some sun and views when I climbed the much higher Avery Peak. And it was so - Avery was beautiful, with the foundation of an old fire tower, I'm guessing, and very reminiscent of the Whites. Gravelly, rocky trails lined with stones, signs warning not to disturb the fragile alpine plants. And sun! A bit anyway, and the fog was breaking up, and restricted but grand views were finally there. I took some pictures and hiked down into the gap between Avery and West Peak, where yet another campground sits, and where Smash and Co. had spent the last night. I ate half a Snickers. Climbed up West Peak, which was pretty socked in - it's actually higher than Avery Peak. Down again, and through a section that had little blazing, maybe because of the kind of trees don't take well to it. But the trail was clear, wide and obvious, with boot prints tramped into the mud from last night's rain. Going up to the Hirn, I ran into a couple of Quebecers (I think), first people I'd seen in almost 24 hours, since I talked to T. We chatted for a bit, they were just out for a dayhike. The view from the top of the Horn was actually quite great, and the sun was out a bit, and the clouds were breaking up, though one large, sad-looking grey cloud floated above me. I sat there for awhile, feeling very safe and satisfied. Nothing had gone wrong! Imagine that. I came up with an exercise to do when I'm feeling panicky or anxious. Think of one thing that I'm grateful for, right here and right now. Sure, it was foggy and windy, but I'm grateful there are no bugs! Maybe this is obvious; an expression of gratitude puts me in the moment, grounds me, and takes some power away from the steady drum beat of "what if" in my mind, about future evens that never seem to unfold. I will practice it regularly. On the way down the Horn, toward the lean-to I'm at now, I ran into some guys on their way up to camp at Avery campsite. They were having a tough time, it's a steep climb. One of them told me there'd be rain in the morning, so I was considering going all the way to Stratton today, but when I got to the lean-to area, it's really nice! Manicured, a caretaker tent, day-use lean-to, a little loop trail around Horn Pond. Also refer to Rule: don't trust anyone's information. It'll probably be lovely tomorrow [it wasn't]. And if not, I'll put on the old raincoat and hike 5 miles to town, can be there for breakfast. I've heard nice things about Stratton, I might even take a full day off, I need to resupply, pick up a drop box, more Aqua Mira, TP, denatured. Maybe a new hat, if anything looks good, like a quick-dry ball cap, this cowboy hat ain't working. Okay - gonna go lay down and rest. Keep on truckin'! - Ups

10.2 Miles. Foggy most of the day, sun came out a bit in the afternoon.

PS. Ditching my Platypus, it's leaking. Fog is blowing by the lean-to like smoke!

"Nothing bad can happen, so long as birds are singing" Now, I know this isn't technically true, but it's an illogical answer to my illogical fears. Thought of it today. [Bible said something similar later to me; as long as birds are singing, he'll hike. If they're silent, watch out...]

June 26. Carry Pond -> Little Bigelow Lean-to

Half day today, about 8 miles from Carry Pond Shelter to Little Bigelow Lean-to. Got here about 12:30, a woman named "T" was here, having a snack break. Very nice woman in her 50's, finishing her last section up to Katahdin. She's from Kentucky and has an adorable Southern accent (the dialect where "cold" is pronounced "code"). It started raining while we talked hiking, but we sat at the front of the shelter and stayed dry. She hiked on after awhile, heading North to Carry Pond, where I'd stayed last night. Today's hike was fairly uneventful, kind of muggy with your typical up-and-down walk in the woods. Not much to recport there. Lots of logging activity, crossed several roads, one paved, the AT ran along one for a short distance [actually walked past a street sign!]. Can hear logging machinery in the distance even now, a start change from the isolation of the 100 miles. A little gnat followed me my whole hile (I have no proof that it was only one) and performed an insipid, stupid little dance right in front of my glasses the entire way. I get it, gnat, I see you, stop being such an attention whore, it's quite unbecoming. I decided to stop early, because the next shelter is 10 miles over the Bigelows, Big-Bigelow[Avery Peak] being a 4000 footer, and I'd love to start them fresh, early in the morning. Good thing, it's raining now, and some serious thunder is happening in the distance. Smash and the boyz are putting in big miles today, trying to get to Avery campsite, up and over Avery Peak. I imagine they're not having too much fun right now. I'll shoot for the next shelter tomorrow, 10 miles over some reportedly rugged but gorgeous terrain. Some in the register here at the lean-to have compared it to the Whites. Til then! Going to scare up some dinner and enjoy being dry in the lean-to. -Ups

June 25. Caratunk -> Carry Pond Lean-to

I would not recommend [Northern Outdoors] to another hiker. They seem to be ill-equipped to serve the needs of the hiker, and more to the rafting-weekend-partier types. The campground was a fucking zoo all night, music pumped from trucks, shrieking, drunk women, loud obnoxious men. Screaming and partying til at least 1 AM. I complained to the woman at the desk [this morning], but she didn't seem that interested or surprised. Good thing I'm not carrying a gun (as so many people have asked me, ostensibly for protection, from what I'm unclear), because I probably would have been tempted to at least fire a few rounds in the partygoers' general direction. The tent-cabin in okay, kind of like a yurt with 2 small beds [and ill-fitting sheets], but the temperature was hot, then cold, then hot - too warm for my bag but cold with nothing. I gess the chaos finally died down at some point, and I got some sleep [I also was cartoonishly squeezing the pillow against my ears]. So, up at 6:30ish, grabbed some TP from the shower room, and came up for breakfast. Ordered pancakes. The young, bro-ey waiter brough out French. "I ordered pancakes." "No, you ordered French toast." "I've never ordered French toast in my life" "Sorry, man." Ugh. My opinion of humanity is not great right now. Looking forward to being back on the trail. Northern Outdoors is running a shuttle to Sterling Inn (will try to resupply my denatured alcohol for my stove) and then to the PO and trailhead, to ferry the river. Almost 8 AM. Full day still ahead! [The French toast was good. Made friends with the bro-ey waiter later on, and we talked about thruhikers who'd passed through]

Lesson learned: The things you worry about are almost guaranteed to not be the things you should have worried about. Those things will likely be fine. You will not see it coming, what will go wrong, so stop the worrying. It is futile.

June 25, con't. East terrain, 14+ miles. Pretty tough day, all in all. I guess every day is going to be tough out here. Got a shuttle to Sterling Inn, courtesy of Northern Outdoors, to get a few ounces of denatured alcohol. Cost a buck. Then he tool me to the PO, where I got my first drop. Kind of exciting! Put some pretty good stuff in there. I made a list of how many dinners, etc. I still had in my food bag, and supplemented from the drop so I have enough to get to Stratton. Still have too much, I suppose. Left a few things in the hiker box at the PO, items worth maybe $6 total, doesn't make sense to ship it. Someone will be psyched to find a full jar of peanut butter in there .Then a short walk to the tailhead, and to the ferry. That was fun. The Northern Outdoors guy said there was a fee, but there isn't (see rule: never trust anyone's information). Apparently, ther guy who runs the ferry ( a rowboat) across the Kennebunk is reimbursed by the Appalachian Trail Conservancy as part of a government contract, I think, to keep it free. In 1985 a hiker drowned crossing the river, trying to save money. So they made it free so no-one would have a reason not to take it. [there is a white AT blaze painted on the floor of the dinghy, so you're never off the trail. It is the only non-walking, sanctioned section of the Trail). Hillbilly Bob (I think this was the boat guy's name, I can't be sure) gave me a quick run-down of the weather forecast, distance to the next shelter, and for good measure, distance to Springer Mountain [the southern terminus of the AT in Georgia]. Thus began the day of hiking, finally, at about 10, on the southern bank of the Kennebunk. East terrain, rolling hills, hiked along a stream for a while. Pleasant weather, but scattered thunderstorms were forecasted. Smash and company (I like them now) were at the first shelter I passed (Pierce Pond). Smask was wearing only underwear, his clothes draped in the sun on a tree near the pond. "You missed the show!" Friar exclaimed, and explained that Smash had falled full-body into the pond while trying to douse his bandana in the cold water. We chatted and ate lunch, and were eventually back on the trail. Hot and humid, bugs were out but not bad. Had a new nasty black-fly attacked; those bastards draw blood! [and leave bruises! WTF? Thankfully most of them were killed off in early June by a late frost]. It was 10 miles from Pierce to our destination, Carry Pond Shelter. 5 hours or so of relatively uneventful, pretty fast hiking. Thought a lot about if I have what it takes to keep this up for another 2000 miles. One step at a time. I snacked on chocolate almonds and Haribo, and sweated bullets, drinking water constantly. Getting low on Aqua Mira, will have to find some in Stratton, or another treatment method. On the last leg, around Carry Pond, the thunderstorm showed up. It was actually pretty cool, but a bit alarming, when the Trail took me down to the pond's edge. Great, dark, ferocious-looking blue-grey clouds were rolling in over the pond, and the wind was whipping the water into whitecaps. Finally the rain came, hard. I paused to don my raincoat and pack cover; I knew I was close to the shelter but not sure how far. Walked in the rain for probably 50 paces, and saw the sign, pointing up a blue-blazed trail, 100 yards. I ran up the trail, splashing through puddles, to the exclamations of Smash and Co. when I came up. "Almost!" I said. We caught up on the day's hike, and I talked to the other folks at the shelter; a couple, and a father-son duo, all going from Grafton to Katahdin. I rehydrated lentils and quinoa, and joked with the guys, talking gear, motivation for thruhiking, weight loss. Then I realized, I'm being the cliquey thruhiker! I bugged me about them before, how they are this little inside-group and ignore the day- and section-hikers. I wasn't doing it intentionally, but a thruhike [even attempted] is a bonding endeavor. I will attempt to not fall into that habit. Too dark to write; need a new noteboook soon! - Ups

June 24. Bald Mountain Brook Lean-to -> Caratunk

Tough day, good end to it, though. Got going about 8, in the rain. Tried to wait it out, but just had to go. Ate 2 Pop-tarts, plus cold granola, nuts, cranberries with powdered milk. I think I need to eat bigger breakfasts, I felt good the first part of the day. The climb up Mt. Pleasant was tough, in that is was long and pretty relentless, though not too steep. The rain let up, and the clouds parted, finally. Made me think that sometimes you have to start with non-ideal circumstances, have to begin anyway, and hope that the conditions will improve. Can't just sit around waiting for the perfect time - life lesson if I ever heard one. Took a coupld of hours to climp the summit, and I fould Smash and the boys lying on the rock, taking a lunch break. Those guys are growing on me, they seem like good guys. I shouldn't judge people so quickly. My panic issues showed up to play today, and I battled them for a while. I didn't bring enough water up the mountain, I've been getting spoiled with the constant water sources, and I started to freak out a little. It all turned out okay [of course], but I should watch that in the future. The descent down the other side of Pleasant was tricky, the rain had made everything slick, like someone had poured WD-40 over the whole damn mountain. I slipped and fell 2 or 3 times; once I landed on my pack, which is the ideal outcome in a fall. My feel came right out from under me - I flinched, thinking I was in for some paint - and smoosh, right on my pack. I went slow from then on. The view from the top was great. After coming most of the way down, I found a stream, treated some water, and continued to the Pleasand Pond shelter where I took a load off, mixed some Emergen-C with a liter of water, and downed it. Got more water from the stream near the shelter. Ate gummi bears. Finally felt better. I considered staying at the shelter, but it was only 2:30 and I couldn't justify hiking a half-day. So, I rallied and started to Caratunk, especially since the terrain looked manageable, except a steep "blip" a coupld of miles before the AT hits 201. The terrain was, in fact, manageable, albeit a little muddy, and the woods were nice, sunny and breezy. The "blip" was a very steep climb, straight up a pine-needle covered hill in the woods. It was hard after a long day. After more mud, poor blazing, and requisite back-tracking, I heard the road (actually heard it for the last hour or so) and came out to the trailhead. 14-some-odd hard miles, and I laid down/collapsed under a tree, happy to be done. I walked to the road and started walking, trying to get a hitch. No one was stopping. I asked a young woman on a bike if I was heading the right way. She said I was heading to the PO, but Northern Outdoors, where I wanted to eat and stay, was the other way. I thanked her and switched to the other side, and was quickly picked up by the Sterling Inn [another hiker hostel in Caratunk, probably should have stayed there] van, which - guess who was in it - Smash and the Boys! We greeted each other and I got a ride up to Northern Outdoors, where I parlayed a cabin-tent [kind of like a yurt, a simple cabin structure with canvas walls and roof, and 2 beds inside] for the night for 16 bucks, put in a load of laundry, took a shower (used shampoo I found, good enough), and now am sitting at the bar in the lodge, having eaten chicken wings and a burger, and a lot of cran-sodas and water. There's an annoying drunk dude next to me cursing loudly at the Bruins game, and it hasn't even officially started yet. I get why towns seem loud and annoting to hikers, I kind of want to be back in the woods. No burgers in the woods, though. Smash and the boys are camping near the trailhead. Going to get the Kennebunk ferry tomrrow in the AM, after picking up my food drop at the post office. Gonna grab my laundry and leave the bar, hit my cabin-tent and get some sleep. -Ups

AM showers, cleared up as day went on, humid, hot(ish) and muggy

June 23. Horseshoe Canyon -> Bald Mt. Brook Shelter

It's about 8:30 in the shelter. I just awoke from a nap in which I dreamt it was my job to clean the US Congressional Hall, and Senators would bring in large sticks and leave them laying around, in some kind of demonstration of their concern and support for the 2nd Amendment. I was sick of it, and threw them all away outside, and people were outraged. Go figure. My dreams have been extra-bizarre and vivid on the Trail, many people from my past making appearances. Maybe the exhausion and isolation of the Trail unlocks some strange door in the mind. There is one particular spot on this shelter's metal corrugated roof that sounds like an old guitar being fiercely plucked when it gets hit with a big fat drop of rain. I keeping listening for it, laying in the near-darkness. A strange mosquito moth creature is buzzing my headlamp. I put in a good 13-point-something mile day, and feel good about it. The first part was flat, mostly, fairly muddy - though nothing like day 2 & 3 - and the bugs were pretty bad. There were a coupld of fords, but they were knee-deep at best and one had a rope. I saw a couple of old ladies fishing near one. "Whatcha doing?" they asked. "Trying to keep my feet dry", I said. "Good luck with that!"  Still unsure of Hugh's whereabouts. My guess is that his camera ran out of batteries so he just went back to Monson. Fuckin' Hugh. [I ran into him my first day out of Monson, he'd left a couple of hours behind me and I ran into him a few minutes after being on the trail. He was standing in the middle of the trail fiddling with his camera. I asked if he were lost, and he said no, my camera doesn't work. I reminded him that we're walking in the rain past nothing worth photographing, but no matter. I hiked past him and haven't seen him since.] Just heard a thunderclap in the distance. I heard something big in the woods today, maybe a deer, didn't seem big enough to be a moose, and I haven't seen any bear scat today. Moose apparently think it's okay to use the AT as their personal toilet - not cool, meese! Tried that new coffee-mocha stuff this morning; it's awesome. Basically cocao with instant coffee in it. Dana and I found it at IGA and figured the extra calories couldn't hurt. Tonight I made pasta/sauce, that I dried awhile ago. Added cheese powder, oil and chipotle. It was really good and super filling. I think it was a whole jar of suace. The cat foot stove is working well, just can't put it near anything flammable, because it gets wicked hot. I was testing it on a plastic table at Shaw's and almosts melted a hole clean through the damn things. Stopped for lunch at Moxie Bald mountain lean-to, near Bald Mountain Pond. Ate a peanut butter wrap and summer sausage, quickly, because I was about to be completely carried away by mosquitoes. The pond was beautfiul though, it was mistl and windy and mysterios, with craggy cliff haces coming down to the water in the foddy reaches of the pond. By the way, "ponds" are extrememly large in Maine, more like lakes. So then I tramped up Moxie Bald Mountain, a good, hot, sweaty climb that eventually spit me out on the 2630' summit. There were a couple of tricky rock scrambles, and also a summit-bypass trail, I suppose in case of bad weather. Since - hint is in the name - it's "bald" up there, rocky and exposed. The summit is sprawling, lunar and austere, with weather-beaten, scrubby vegetation, lichen, and an endless array of giant, waves of rock, like a playground for hikers. It was hazy, and the views were negatively affected, but they were there nonetheless, and I laid on my back in the sun - I'd finally found sun - and tried to dry off. Most of the day had been gray and foggy and melancholy, but up on the summit I was feeling satistfied, maybe because of the sun and maybe because I knew most of the day's work was done. Kaleigh had mentioned that she lost the trail up here, and it was a bit hard to find, it doesn't really go over the summit, but skirts it. I followed the cairns and eventually found the way. In the shelter with the college bros, Dirty Mike and the Boys - they're nice enough, I suppse. They got separated up on Moxie today, but rememdied it, though they were quite a bit later that me getting in. Looking forward to breakfast. Til then - Ups

AM clouds, PM hazy and partly sunny, then light rain

June 22. Monson -> Horseshoe Canyon

Easy 9 miles on relatively flat terrain today, many more road crossing and signs of life and industry [logging] than in the Wilderness. Spend most of the morning chatting with fellow hikers, eating breakfast, drinking too many sodas. Dana shuttled Smash and the boys down to the Route 15 trailhead, and picked some other folks up. She seems so in her element when she's helping people out. We put my food together [well, Dana did, I was so full of nervousness/excitement/anticipation that I was pretty useless at this point], and some boxes for the future, and Dana dropped them off at the PO. Kaleigh was panicking a bit about her pack weight; we advised her to mail some of her food to Stratton, but the PO was closed by then, so Dana will do it from home. My pack weight is only 25 pounds with 4 days of food and water, which I'm glad of. I also weight less, so that helps! Dropped 10 pounds in the Wilderness, if Shaw's scale is accurate. Hit the trail as about noon, in the light rain. Dana dropped me off. I'm going to miss her a lot. My first bit of trail magic happened today, at about mile 6 I came across a cooler with cold beer, water, soda, and seltzer. I grabber an orange seltzer; it was great. After and easy ford I got to Horseshoe Canyon lean-to, where I thought Smash and the boys might be, but - thankfully - they're not. A little frat-boy for me. Big Squirrel is here, though; we ran into him a couple of days ago near Monson. Also a section hiker kid, very young, Switchback, who if he's out of high school I'd be surprised. Nice kid, started in Gorham and going to Katahdin, and doing 20+ mile days. He's a good source of info about what's to come - though, if I've learned anything out here, it's never trust anyone's information. People have a hard time factualizing distances and times, it's so subjective, it seems... "not too far" can mean right around the corner, or 10 miles of grueling hiking. Hugh - fuckin' Hugh [as we endearingly referred to him after he gave us bad info about White House Landing in the 100 miles - he's actually a very good dude, quirky and interesting] - is a guy we met as we were hiking toward White House Landing. We was going from Monson to Katahdin, then going back to Monson and heading South, what's known as a flip-flop hike. He told us White House wouldn't pick you up after 6, which is innaccurate - they will if you're staying the night. So, we busted our asses to get there, needlessly. It's important, I'm learning, to develop your own system of judging time and distance, and be realistic about it. People are good sources of info about where to start, people to meet and talk to, where to get a good burger - but not numbers. Not out here, anyway. Made some beans and rice (dehydrated), with my cat food stove, which worked well, and will probably turn in soon, though it's early. Hiking alone is different, after so many miles with a partner. I was a little sad and lonely for the first couple of miles in the rain, but feeling good now. "Fixing a Hole" by the Beatles has been in my head all day, I suppose beasue of the rain. Also, today is the first day I've really felt like I can do this. :) - Ups